Can I have A Taste of Your Ice Cream: Practice on Curating (1)

Dieter Roth

This is the day 1 for documenting the research and progress of my project on establishing a curating career from scratch.

Coming back to Asia after finishing my two years of master degree in Edinburgh, I experienced a lot of emotions that I have been prepared for, but still can't handle it very well.

The biggest one is the expectation from family members that was far different than I thought. As soon as I came back to Taiwan, my relatives started to suggest me to do secretary-like jobs that guarantees me safe incomes and positive social status. My grandmother's biggest wish for me is to get a husband in short coming years also not to travel abroad so much as before. My mother is hoping me to import luxury brands's products from UK, Europe to sell in Taiwan, or trying to work for any agencies as long as it's from a government organisation.

It is a strange situation that I am in, in the way I am glad that they didn't put too much expectation on the master degree I earned abroad. What it means is that the sort of jobs that I am looking for, doesn't have to pay me tons of money, they don't expect that I am the one to support the family, but as long as it sounds like a nice job to my future husband's family.
As if to them, the biggest success is to find a good family to marry and to have a good job title.
It is not about my personal satisfaction also they strongly suggested that work isn't suppose to relate to your interest anyway, or it will always end up as a broken dream.

The idea of not being expected much makes me sadden. (However, if they expect a lot, then I might complain different things.) It is really strange situation for me because since when I was in elementary school, I was expected to be the best piano players, french horn performers, and best in all the school subjects. When I was in high school, I was expected to be the best student and the nicest daughter too. All the expectations that I have experienced before gave me a very unhappy, stressful childhood.

However, when I finally reached the point of my life that I am finally capable, legally permitted to start a new category of my life. The expectation has either too far from the direction that I am hoping to walk on, nor strong enough to make me feel essential to meet.

By recognising the situation, I have generated interests to analyse a more communal emotion that can help me to relate the situation to others.

First I would like to start to research on failures. These are things that I can list on my own now.

1: Graduate with no real job.
2: unfinished books
3: talking a lot but has no action.
4: incapable to perfect whatever things you are doing.
5: giving up too early
6: poor decision making
7: regret
8: when reality didn't meet the goal.
9: has no goal.
10: dependent
11: sad
12: discontent
13: dirty finger nails
14: unorganised closets
15: messy rooms
16: listening to music but not being able to remember the song title
17: forget
18: lost things
19: being late
20: didn't avoid accidents
21: meet a bad person
22: complain in mind
23: looking at the dark side
24: lazy
25: excuses.
26: no consistency
27: break up
28: looking down
29: punishment

What Internet tells me: